What if real happiness doesn’t exist??

Happiness…

What is happiness??

         According to my friend Mr. Wikipedia..

Happiness is a state of mind or feeling characterized by contentment, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy. A variety of philosophical, religious, psychological and biological approaches have striven to define happiness and identify its sources.

Philosophers and religious thinkers often define happiness in terms of living a good life, or flourishing, rather than simply as an emotion. Happiness in this older sense was used to translate the Greek Eudaimonia, and is still used in virtue ethics. In everyday speech today, however, terms such as well-being or quality of life are usually used to signify the classical meaning, and happiness usually refers to the felt experience or experiences that philosophers historically called pleasure.

-wikipedia

 

Thank’s to mr. Wiki… =)

Now…

what if I’d ask..

Is there such thing?

Can you fake happiness??

…..

..Those are just some stuffs running through my head these days…

It’s just that at some point,  I come to think of happiness as a state of being content of what you have.  An expression of feeling when you fully accept things as they are and when you can’t ask for more.

In Faking happiness…

 Maybe it’s when you pretend you’re happy, when in fact You’re NOT totally okay.

…I can understand why other people pretend to be happy. It’s just that maybe, they don’t want to bother those people around them. or that they don’t want to let others  see them sad or maybe, They just don’t want to be pitied.

I mean, man! It’s not easy faking.

So why freaking pretend to be happy if not for the sake of other people?…

…And “Ate dAe, what if real happiness doesn’t really exist?”

                             …That I’m not really sure honey, Maybe it does happen when people can’t appreciate the things they already have. or when they have lost somethng very precious to them that they lose their so-called “happiness”. and we can’t balme them for that.

… I guess that real happiness does exist though. It’s just that we don’t appreciate it by now. Because we’re all too busy looking out for it. But If we could just look right inside our hearts and learn how to appreciate the things that God has already gave us or blessed us with. We might find the things that we have been looking for. =)

 …And for added fun..

here are 10 lovely tips on how to be happier…

+ credits to : my brother.. [found this on his file..dunno where he got this though..]

1. Don’t start with profundities.
When I began my Happiness Project, I realized pretty quickly that, rather than jumping in with lengthy daily meditation or answering deep questions of self-identity, I should start with the basics, like going to sleep at a decent hour and not letting myself get too hungry. Science backs this up; these two factors have a big impact on happiness. Learn how to Get a Good Night’s Sleep.

2. Do let the sun go down on anger.
I had always scrupulously aired every irritation as soon as possible, to make sure I vented all bad feelings before bedtime. Studies show, however, that the notion of anger catharsis is poppycock. Expressing anger related to minor, fleeting annoyances just amplifies bad feelings, while not expressing anger often allows it to dissipate.

3. Fake it till you feel it.
Feelings follow actions. If I’m feeling low, I deliberately act cheery, and I find myself actually feeling happier. If I’m feeling angry at someone, I do something thoughtful for her and my feelings toward her soften. This strategy is uncannily effective.

4. Realize that anything worth doing is worth doing badly.
Challenge and novelty are key elements of happiness. The brain is stimulated by surprise, and successfully dealing with an unexpected situation gives a powerful sense of satisfaction. People who do new things — learn a game, travel to unfamiliar places — are happier than people who stick to familiar activities that they already do well. I often remind myself to “Enjoy the fun of failure” and tackle some daunting goal.

5. Don’t treat the blues with a “treat.”
Often the things I choose as “treats” aren’t good for me. The pleasure lasts a minute, but then feelings of guilt and loss of control and other negative consequences deepen the lousiness of the day. While it’s easy to think, I’ll feel good after I have a few glasses of wine…a pint of ice cream…a cigarette…a new pair of jeans, it’s worth pausing to ask whether this will truly make things better.

6. Buy some happiness.
Our basic psychological needs include feeling loved, secure, and good at what we do and having a sense of control. Money doesn’t automatically fill these requirements, but it sure can help. I’ve learned to look for ways to spend money to stay in closer contact with my family and friends; to promote my health; to work more efficiently; to eliminate sources of irritation and marital conflict; to support important causes; and to have enlarging experiences.

7. Don’t insist on the best.
There are two types of decision makers. Satisficers (yes, satisficers) make a decision once their criteria are met. When they find the hotel or the pasta sauce that has the qualities they want, they’re satisfied. Maximizers want to make the best possible decision. Even if they see a bicycle or a backpack that meets their requirements, they can’t make a decision until they’ve examined every option. Satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers. Maximizers expend more time and energy reaching decisions, and they’re often anxious about their choices. Sometimes good enough is good enough.

8. Exercise to boost energy.
I knew, intellectually, that this worked, but how often have I told myself, “I’m just too tired to go to the gym”? Exercise is one of the most dependable mood-boosters. Even a 10-minute walk can brighten my outlook.
9. Stop nagging.
I knew my nagging wasn’t working particularly well, but I figured that if I stopped, my husband would never do a thing around the house. Wrong. If anything, more work got done. Plus, I got a surprisingly big happiness boost from quitting nagging. I hadn’t realized how shrewish and angry I had felt as a result of speaking like that. I replaced nagging with the following persuasive tools: wordless hints (for example, leaving a new lightbulb on the counter); using just one word (saying “Milk!” instead of talking on and on); not insisting that something be done on my schedule; and, most effective of all, doing a task myself. Why did I get to set the assignments?

10. Take action.
Some people assume happiness is mostly a matter of inborn temperament: You’re born an Eeyore or a Tigger, and that’s that. Although it’s true that genetics play a big role, about 40 percent of your happiness level is within your control. Taking time to reflect, and conscious steps to make your life happier, really does work. So use these tips to start your own Happiness Project. I promise it won’t take you a whole year.

 

-Thank’s!..[These stuffs might come in handy..=)]

The Message that made me think…

PSEUDO~RELATIONSHIP

- Parang kayo pero hindi.. No commitments involved, you’re UNCERTAIN on your role to his/her life..

- You can’t expect him/her to be always there for you..

- You can’t demand, you can’t be jealous..

- “There is no “US”…meron lang “YOU AND ME”…”

- You can’t be sure of his/her feelings for you…

- And this will make you wonder where you are in the relationship…

OR…

…If there is a relationship at all.

But why do others still settle for this kind of relationship??

For FUN?
Kilig feeling??
..para lang may kasama habang wala pa ang “REAL THING”??

MAYBE…

but what if one gets cold?.. then that’s the END of EVERYTHING.

The relationship may not be TRUE but the PAIN is REAL…

You will be miserable, Hoping to bring back what you used to have…

dahil “PARANG KAYO PERO HINDI”…kaya hanggang dun na lang..

> POWER RELATIONSHIP

*************************************************************************************

AND YEAH! TAPOS NA NGA ANG POWER RELATIONSHIP..

sana madami akong natutunan..

**peace..**i’ll be back for this….
..and im back!.

about this Pseudo-relationship thingy..

it’s like so last season..

I could probably say that now because it’s over..

and that for sometime now, I can’t really think of a reason why I’d been to this kind of thing. I mean, yeah..mahirap nga nman yung ganitong kind of relationship.. and one of my favorite part is yung “..”There is no “US”…meron lang “YOU AND ME”.. which is always the main topic namin ng mga friends kuh during those times na I suppose I was still “IN” this kind of situation. I mean, yeah men!..there’s really no “US”, it’s just “YOU” and “ME”.. and yun ung isa sa pinaka masakit sa lahat.. na parang ang labas eh..you’re just a cover up..habang wala pa ang sinasabi nilang “THE REAL THING”.. And syempre..mas mahirap din pag ang isa sa inyo eh nahulog na sa ganitong type ng relationship.. na mahalin na nya yung isa..while the other person is just playing pa din.. meron din namang instance na parehong nandyan na yung ” real thing” pero they still settle for this kind of relationship “FOR FUN”.. ewan ba.. as for my experience kasi.. I suppose I “had” that so-called “REAL THING”..but I still managed to have this kind of relationship with one of my closest friend in College.. tama ba yun?? “PSEUDO-RELATIONSHIP” talaga noh??kasi naman..basta medyo mahirap syang i-explain in detail.. but in this kind of relationship kasi.. these two person might find theirselves havin’ fun hanging out with their supposed to be “someone special”..pero wla talagang commitment..kung baga..”no strings attached”..ayun..so wala ka talagang pananagutan if ever.. di ka pwede magselos dahil “hindi naman kayo”..but, you can watch movies together, go to malls and hang-out,dine-out, play games together,  go to places together, go home together, sleep on each others shoulder, sweet effect, call names.. aun.. hold hands (Oooopps…accepted pa ba itoh??)..

haha..those last few comments are waay not accepted ah..sana naging kayo nalang kasi di ba?? for all we know eh malamang you’re already exchanging sweet notings nadin naman, na magsisimula sa simple sweet quotes na may excuse na naka group message sya, then after nyo mag “date”.. na may excuse pang “friendly date” yun..(Girl.. FYI.. Im SO NOT born yesterday..) that “friendly” date is STILL a date!..okay?..eh mag papalitan na ulit kayo ng messages na parang hindi kayo magkasama a while ago.. right?? Sinong nakakarelate?? (raise your voice..hahaha).. ang cheesy ng mga pinag gagawa nyo.. but either way, kung hindi chessy ang ma inlove eh panu pa kea xa mag wowork??.. Im really wonderin’ If may Love story na hindi mo masasabing Chessy..katulad nalang nung kanina na narining namin ng mga friends kuh habang nakatambay.. may dumaan kasi na motor with two boys and a girl in the middle na pinagtawanan pa namin dahil according to my “crazy” friends eh.. natuhog daw si ate…hahaha.. with matching lines pa nila na…

girl(si ateng natuhog daw): “mahalaga ba ako sa’yo??”

boy (si kuyang ngddrive ng motor): “kung hindi ka mahalaga eh di…..**bitin”..

then pag lampas nila eh..pinag fiestahan na namin ang mga lines na narinig namin..”mahalaga ba ako sa’yo?”..chessy pero okay sana yung tanong na yun kung in love ka na at hindi ka sure kung ano ka talaga sa taong minahal mo na..applicable xa sa pseudo-relationship noh?..ang galing tlga.. akalain mo?? naku talaga.. I can’t really think of anything na ikagaganda ng relationship na ito.. In a way kasi..masaya sya dahil hindi ka commited sa taong kasama mo while at the same time eh..you’re having the time of your life.. no strings attached.. nagiging masama lang sya pag natutunan mo ng mahalin yung taong kasama mo.. at dun nag sstart yung pagiging unhealthy ng ganitong klase ng relationship.. talo pag pareho kayong torpe.. yun bang sweet-sweetan padin kayo..exchanges ng “I LOVE YOU” thru text..eventhough you don’t really mean that…sabay pa kayo papasok, may sarili pa akyong schedule ng lakad nyo, dress code, you call them up when you miss them, at bonggang palitan ng ka-sweetan sa text as if you really mean what you say to that person…haix..

ano na nga ba ang mangyayari sa ganitong klase ng samahan?..nagiging sobrang unhealthy sa friendship..lalo na kung friends kayo at first di ba?.. naku guys..

guys, All I know is that LOVE is a kind of thing that you should’nt play with.. mahirap pag nahulog ka..at hindi ka sure kung may sasalo sa’yo .. kasi hindi naman talaga sya totoong relationship di ba?..based from my experience..hindi xa masyadong maganda..but you’ll learn by the process naman, mahirap ng magsalita eh.. nahirapan akuh dito at medyo naloka..but still, I LEARNED..yun naman yung mahalaga di ba?..WE LEARN FROM OUR PAST EXPERIENCE.. para in the future..we become better persons.. sana lang talaga we learn something new.. kasi some people just go through these experiences without Learning from their mistakes and they tend to repeat the same thing all over again..and with that, they tend to hurt themselves more..and ang masama pa dun..hindi sila nag ggrow as a better individual…so.. mahirap talaga sya.. kaya naman.. tigilan na ang pagiging masyadong torpe and say how you feel to that special person, para malaman mo na kung dapat pa bang ituloy or tama na.. kasi for all I know, We all deserve to be happy with someone who deserves our time and effort..and LOVE nadin syempre.. ayun.. kaya stay happy guys.. pag basted..eh di Move on na lang..wla ka naman magagawa kung ayaw sa’yo nung tao di ba?.. oo masakit, pero ganun talaga ang buhay… at kaya nga nandyan ang mga tunay na friendships.. believe me or not, kaya sila binigay ni God satin eh may purpose yang mga yan.. kahit gaano pa sila kabaliw at kakaiba..still, sila padin ang makakatulong satin para makapag move on.. bukod sa sila makakasama mo sa pag iinom.. eh patatawanin ka ng mga yan kahit sobrang corny sila at feeling mo eh hindi sila makakatulong at mas pipiliin mo pang magkulong sa room muh at mag fetal positon sa pinaka corner ng room mo..

True friends will stick with you no matter how hard you drag them away from you…

mahal ka ng mga yan.. yun ang natutunan kuh..masaya madaming friends..but make sure meron jan na pupulutin ka in your worst..and im just so proud dahil meron akuh nyan..madami.. ang saya.. kaya tigilan na ang pseudo-relationship okay?? hang out with friends wag yung “friends with benefits”..gaga!..hahaha…kidding.. basta.. friendship is the best policy talaga… kung mahal mo isang tao..sabihin mo na..wag kang pa keme pa ever..di na yan uso..dahil in the end ikaw din kasi mahihirapan eh.. kaya go lang..keri yan.. pag di ka trip..move on ulit..cycle lng yan eh.. until you find someone who truly deserves you..

sabi nga dun sa isang fave blog kuh…

“you don’t look for love. you wait for it. and shit happens over and over again until the universe decides that you finally learned your lesson”..

If the Feeling is gone…hahaha…yay!!!

If the feeling is gone
Please don’t pretend that you still love me
I can see it in your eyes
And it hurts to admit it
I can tell that the feeling is gone
All i ask is just a little honesty
Though i know that you’re not coming back to me
You know i’ll do anything to make you stay
But i just have to let you know
If the feeling is gone
There’s a sadness in your smile
Though I try to conceal it
I can tell that the feeling is gone
All i ask is just a little honesty
Though i know that you’re not coming back to me
You know i’ll do anything to make you stay
But i just have to let you go
If the feeling is gone
All i ask is just a little honesty
Though i know that you’re not coming back to me
You know i’ll do anything to make you stay
But i just have to let you go
I just have to let you go
I just have to let you go
If the feeling is gone….
Stay…

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

wula lang..pampahaba ng Blogisode na itoh yang song Lyrics..

mejo masaya na akuh ngaun and i can say that im improving…nyahahaha…

una:

ngayong araw na ito ay natupad ang isa sa matagal ko ng pangarap.. to finally ma- angkas kay Maverick ung special person kuh..haha..(ayan n nman akuh)

and yeah nagawa kuh na xa kanina…BEAT THAT! haha..kaya lang..kanina kuh lng din narealize na its too late..wala na talaga akong nararamdaman para sa kanya..which is a good thing..na ibig sabihin eh..im free!!! yay for me!! ang tagal kuh nadin naisip un na wala na talaga akong nffeel.. medjo nahihirapan lang akuh i convince ang sarili kuh na totoo un at pati nadin ang mga College friends kuh dahil ayaw talaga nilang maniwala na hindi kuh na xa mhal…bwahahaha..kala nyu guys ah!!hahaha…

pangalawa:

para naman dun sa taong reason para sa aking scandalous na bulletin na talaga namang bumenta eh..ayan..sana nga kung wala na akuh para sau at kung hindi muh naman me na mimish eh..shit ka!!hahaha juk..wala naman akong magagawa kung d m talaga akuh 3p db??stupid lang talaga akuh…as in..stupid talaga..

nga pla..ngtxt n xa..at mejo okay n akuh dun kahit nung nreplyan kuh xa eh niaway kuh pa xa..gnun nman tlga akuh eh..db??pxnxa nman..bwahahaha…

ang mga realizations sa buhay..talaga naman…

Thank’s for this Lovely day..kahit na hindi kuh na ulit pwede i-drive si Maverick dahil wala pa akong Driver’s License..eh naging masaya naman akuh dahil nga dun..at xmpre..dahil nakasama kuh ang best kuh at c Still knina at nakapag share kmi ng mga thoughts namin sa life and in a way natulungan nila akuh sa problem kuh..na aminin kuh na daw na na-fall na akuh dun sa taong un..ewan kuh sa kanya..at ewan kuh din sa dalawang un..mga adik! kaya mahal kuh sila eh..sobra!! subrang thankful akuh kay Lord at binigyan nya akuh ng mga baliw na friends na magpapasaya sakin kahit na may mga times na mejo Lonely..aun..masaya padin kaming 3!! at magttrabaho na kami para magka hamey at matuloy na kami sa mga laboy namin sa buhay..

and about falling for that someone..ewan kuh..d ako sure..sabi kuh daw dati accdg kna still at best q nag iinarte pa daw akuh..pero ang totoo..nahulog n nga yta tlaga akuh nun..kea lng ngaun..mejo okay na akuh at katulad nga ng sinabi kuh sa kanila kanina..nadala lang akuh sa biglaang bugso ng emosyon kuh, happy moments namin together, which is turned to my bittersweet memories with him na sana eh hanggang dun na lang tlga to prevent myself from falling. na nabigla lang akuh talaga kea nsabi kong na fall na nga akuh..at ngaun eh nandito akuh sa state na pag convince sa sarili kuh na hindi un totoo at hindi kuh talaga xa gusto..sana naman maniwala akuh..at sana makayanan kuh toh..i know i’ll get through..nakisabay lang akuh sa pagbuhos ng ulan..dahil hindi kami pwede…hindi talaga…excuse me…naku..adik talaga akuh..sana..

haix..auko na maulit ung dati..pero unconsciously eh nauuulit kuh lng ung dati kong ginagawa..sana this time maiba naman.. sna maging sila na nung gurl na gusto nya kamo..at sana talaga maging sila na para hindi na kami lalo pwde at para nadin tigilan na nya akuh..para mawalan na ng chance na umalis kami ulit at para everybody happy!!

haix…sana naman ligawan nya na yun ng seryoso para sagutin n sya at tigilan na akuh..haix..

at uu nga pala..tumatanggap na akuh ngaun ng mga bagong suitors…weeeetttt….sabi kuh bago..kea dun sa nagbabalak bumalik..ewan kuh sau..MOVE ON!!..hahaha..pero kung makulit ka talaga..goodluck!kaya muh yan..malay muh marealize kong mahal pala kita..eh di nice…hahaha..

=)

When dAE opens her heart ….

anu na ba ito ngaun?? talaga bang kailangan may special blogisode xa??i don’t think it’s worth a blog..haha..juk lng.. im being mean again..

i’ll just blog about myself and of how i feel..

It’s just that I think I like someone again.. The least person you’ll ever think I’ll fall for.. and yeah.. he’s the same person dito sa blog kuh..about the mini txt something.. and yeah I like the guy..and we’ve been together nito lang college..just friends..naging close friends at hanggang dun lang period… masaya..

naging sobrang masaya akuh..

……………….ayoko na..hindi kuh na kaya i kwento..sorry

I AM NOT A PRINCESS!!

Just a song in my head

WHITE HORSE LYRICS
-TAYLOR SWIFT:

So you’re sorry
That face of an angel
Comes out just when you need it to
And I paced back and forth all this time
Cause I honestly believed in you
Holding on
And days drag on
Stupid girl,
I should have known, I should have known

[Chorus]
I’m not a princes, this ain’t a fairy tale
I’m not the one to sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain’t Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it’s too late for you
And your White Horse, to come around

Baby I was naive,
Got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance
I had so many dreams
About you and me
Happy endings
Now I know

[Chorus]
I’m not a princes, this ain’t a fairy tale
I’m not the one to sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain’t Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it’s too late for you
And your white horse, to come around

Here you are your sitting there
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted but I’m sooo sorry

Cause I’m not your princess, this ain’t a fairytale
I’m gonna find someone somewhere who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappears now
Now its too late for you and your white horse
Now its too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa
Try and catch me now
Oh, it’s too late
To catch me now

*******************************************************************************

Reflection:

And yeah..im absolutely not a Princess and will never be..

NAH..

Just a song stuck in my head..

maybe because of a new heart break..

haha..and yeah it’s a new failed story..the way i wanted it to be..

and yeah i don’t want to talk about it but im left with nothing to do but to write about it..

what a stupid person i really am!!..

i shouldn’t have felt this way.. i know that.. and im fully aware of the consequences
………………………………………….

but im just so stupid I didn’t even cared about what i would feel.. and at the end of it.. here i am again..being the sore loser that i am..depressed and lost with nothing left for myself….I just can’t believe that it’ll end up this soon.. i thought I’d be happy at last…but then again…im not…

i’ll just wait for the next one….

xiao for now..

i know im not making any sense…

yeah I know..

believe me.. I just know…

-dAe

last Alapaap dAy with bebe John…DEFINED…

June 4, 2009

Thursday

Haix…tapos na!..board exam na sa saturday and sunday!…Judgement day ng mga Nursing graduates na katulad kuh…

Ano dAE?? Masaya??..

oo naman!!

sabi nga ni Father Glenn kanina sa very special mass para samin ng R.U.N.. dapat happy para magproduce ang adrenal glands natin ng mga happy hormones or endorphins…

haix..ang bilis talaga ng panahon..parang kailan lang nung nagstart ang review…at kanina nga lang..tapos na talaga xa…haix..panu na ang mga panakaw na moments kuh with bebe john??haix..mamimish kuh talaga xa ng bonggang bongga…at xempre..pati narin ung mga iba naming lecturers..specially cna ate mae, sir allan, dr.Dy, Dr. Roces, Dr.Padaong, ma’am Digs Canete and si  ma’am Chit Bulanadi..ung fave kuh…pati nadin sina ma’am Cynthia and si sir ‘Buwa’ ni ning..aun…

haix..this day wuz great!!

God Is Soo Good!! and He’s the Best!!

ang ganda ng mass…okay cna father Glenn and xempre ang very talented na si father Emil..grabeh.. dko akalaing magkaka Crush akuh sa isang father for a while…ai nku..nakalimot talaga akuh at todo sigaw pa sa loob ng church..ang galing kxe mag guitar ni father..and infairness..may voice xa…and mabait talaga..grabeh..sorry po papa God at nakalimot ako..

after nun xempre..papayag ba naman akuh na wala kaming picture picture ni bebe john for the last time…

here….

ayan…at hindi kuh masyadong pinaghandaan ang araw na iyan..pansin nyu naman diba??hahahaha..

and after that shot..i shaked hands with him for the last time..at xempre nagpasalamat sa kanila..and he gladly told me “galingan nyo ah”..”kaya nyu yan”..”sige..salamat nga pala dun sa pop..hehehehehe”…haix…

haix.. mamimish kuh talaga ang inspirasyon kuh..

nakakaiyak talaga..sobrang mamimish kuh si bebe john..i mean si Mr. John Henrex Moreno..

..haix naku sir John.. ang tindi muh talaga..akalain mong nagkaganito me sau..haix talaga..

…salamat po ulit..sa pagiging inspirasyon!! SALAMAT!!!

sana hindi lang ito hanggang dito nalang… future as in..collegues kuh na kau..mag a apply din me sa R.U.N after ng Boards..hahahaha..i mean..after kuh mag top..nice…

thank’s po sir John!!

see yah some time!!!

*** *****************************************

another, and another one..i LOve June!!ALAPAAP DEFINED!

June 2, 2009

Tuesday

at katulad kahapon..isa itong karugtong ng isang napakagandang alaala ng buhay kuh …..haix….

morning:

…(running late..upstairs sa pats..nagtanggal ng cap at nagaayos ng hair habang ng ssoundtrip sa MP4…)

nandun c bebe john sa labas ng pinto hawak ang doorknob at may cnabi..

dko xa mxado narinig dahil sa headset..but i managed to read his lips saying..”late ka na ah?”..with a smile…

**alapaap…

**smiles back at him..with kilig..

hahaix..

patikim pa lang un…

pagpasok kuh sa loob..uber kilig padin…at hindi padin makarecover simula kahapon…uber ngiti na abot abot kung saan..

knwento nla ateh na nung morning pa knta ng knta c bebe john…at nanghihinayang me dahil dko xa narinig at nakita manlang..pero bawi din naman nung hapon…hahaix…

God is so great!!!

nung hapon..may short program…dko na xa ikkwento dito in detail..ung moment kuh nlng…basta masya sya ng bonggang bongga..dahil super kulit ni bebe john as in..

after ng ratio namin un ngstart..aun..**kinikilig n naman me..**

habang ngsusulat me ng something..narinig kuh xang kumakanta ng out of reach na kinanta kuh lang yesterday..hahaha..at sabi nila ateh he was looking at me while singing..and heck im in heaven!!woooot…………sobra!!

then may game…

after the game..he asked for a duet..dahil favorite daw nya talaga yung out of reach..while singing some part of the song kahit wala kaming maintindihan na lyrics…and still..while looking at me..

hahaix..ewan kuh ba kung paano pa me makakarecover…nakamamatay…

then inabot nya ung mic..which i took from his hand naman as a courtesy..pero..again eh wala akong balak kumanta dahil baka himatayin na akuh…

at kumanta xa sa stage ..nakatingin sakin..woot…and i was just looking din habang secretly na kinikilig ng bonggang bongga…haix…

binalik kuh din ung mic dahil di talaga me kakanta…

after the program..picture taking ulit…

i took a yellow balloon as a remembrance..and some cartolina na reviewer..and yes..we took a picture together…

itoh un…

and yes..ganyan akuh ka sabog nung mga panahong un…

and YES! again..nakaakbay nga si bebe john sakin..hindi kau namamalikmata..totoo yan mga kapatid sa pananampalataya..nung mga ibang pics namin at mga pix nya sa iba walang akbay yun..as in bawal..pero ayan…i guess that’s my prize..after nun ay sinabi nya sakin na ..”ang tangkad muh naman”..hahahaha..i’m such a blessed girl…mahal talaga akuh ni papa God and he wants me to be happy!!and yes im so happy ng mga panahong yan!!sana dirediretso na hanggang August ‘09 Oathtaking!..

inspired talaga akuh..at langit yan!!ALAPAAP!!

at akala nyu ba eh hanggang jan nalang un??

eeennngggkkkk…mali..

nung gabi po ay accidentally na nandun parin akuh s kanluran at kumakain ng dinner kasama si babi/kuya at c rj…

nloka loka talaga akuh nung nakita kuh sila dun nila ate mae, sir allan at syempre pati nadin c bebe john…haix…

ayun..nasa isip kuh 3p kong makishare ng table with them..pero akala namin eh mag dine out sila..kea instead..nka separate sila ng table samin..while waiting for the food..kumuha ng water c bebe john..then nakita nya kami then pabirong nagsabi samin..

bebe john: “ui…allan..tara..picture tau oh…” while pointing at us..

and we replied with a smile..

after kuh kumain eh nagbayad na me..at binilhan kuh ng softdrinks sina babi/kuya at rj..nung dinala kuh na sa table namin ung drinks nag thank you c bebe john..so para hindi mapahiya..i brought them their softdrinks din..

aun..they thanked me and said “papasa daw sa board ung mga nanlilibre”..hahaha..sana nga talaga eh magdilang anghel sila ma’am mae, sir allan at bebe john…

then tuloy ang kwentuhan namin nila rj..nang magulat kami nung may nilagay c bebe john sa table namin..nilibre nya kaming 3 ng yema..and yes! ALAPAAP na naman po ang narating kuh..sobra sobra!! we thanked him back..and aun tuloy sa kwento habang nalaglag ang puso kuh at naghyperventilate na akuh which caused me to have a respiratory alkalosis..nakakaloka talaga…

tuloy sa kwento..sabay napansin ni rj na kakausapin kami ni bebe john..about the activity sa thursday..na itext namin ung mga classmates namin about it..sa st vincent before 9am dapat nandun na..konti pang conversation at natapos din ang aking kaligayahan nung umalis na sila at nag thank you ulit sa nilibre kong softdrinks…

haix…

HEAVEN!!

GOD IS SO GEAT!!!

ENJOY LIFE!!!

=)

CrAzY dAe!!!

June 1, 2009

Monday

hahaix.,…

kamusta naman ang araw na itoh sakin….

hahaix talaga!!…umuulan ng matinding kabaklaan at todong kaharutan na talaga…nkakatuwa isipin na ang galing talaga ni papa God.. kung paano nya ako nakukuhang palaging pangitiin..ang saya talaga kahit na hindi masyadong masaya ang puso kuh ngaun..talagang gumawa xa ng way para mapasaya akuh..

sobra kong narealize na mahal talaga tau ni papa God..kahit gaano pa ako ka bad na person..mahal nya parin akuh..i mean mahal nya talaga taung lahat…

hahaix…

ang galing talaga..share kuh lng ung onti kung moment sa araw na itoh..

ang tuluyang paglaganap ng issue  na crush kuh ung isang R.N na lecturer ng Review center namin sa University..R.U.N…

and yeah…nakakatuwa talaga xa…c bebe John that  is..he’s so cute na kamukha nya ung h.s friend kuh na sobrang mish kuh na…

(i am easily attracted to persons who has a strong sense of Humor..)

and so.. a few days back..palagi na kaming ng papa picture sa kanila dahil sa malapit na ang bonggang bonggang board exam…at matatapos na ang review at dahil dun eh hindi na namin sila makikita…

nakahalata yata na Crush kuh xa..at ayun..nkakahiya..basta nahihiya akuh..(akalain nyu un??)

pati ung ng ratio samin nun tinanaong akuh kng totoong crush kuh nga c bebe John..bsta alam na nilang lahat na crush kuh tlga xa kaya nakakahiya na talaga..hahaha..we even shaked hands gawa ng tropa ko na isa..bsta..aliw un..in a way na nahihiya na talaga akuh pwo di akuh mxadong ngpahalata..go with the flow pa ang drama kuh nun para d mxado obvious..kunwari nakikisakay sa biro..ah basta..

ayun..

and so..kanina na nga..

picture taking ulit as usual..ksama ulit c bebe JOhn…ah basta..

nung ng ratio na ulit ng break..

tpos napagkatuwaan na magkantahan..aun..para daw di na kami mabored..

may unang kumanta..

“ayun may nauto na sila…wooot!!”

eh may price..haha..100 yta un..simpleng kanta lng..

(tumatakbo sa isip kuh) : “….pwede…kahit kiss nalang from bebe John pwede na..hahahaha”

at aun nagtuturan na ng mga batang marunong kumanta…

kumanta din ung isang friend kuh na c Rob..who is magaling naman talaga…and infairness..

uber kilig kaming lahat sa medley na ginawa nya..

(marahil ay inspired padin..wooot!!!!)

bsta ang saya saya nun..

tpos may isa pa…

magaling nman talaga xa..and one nice song..”I will Survive” na sakto talaga sa aming lhat..

ang cool…nawa’y makayanan na talaga namin itoh!!!

at dahil sa aking pagkakaalam ay mag sstart na ung ratio ulit..unti unti na akong umusog pabalik ng upuan kuh/ pwesto kuh sa pinaka harap…kaya aun..nakita akuh ng mga loko at napagtripan na pakantahin na din…

wala akong balak kumanta noon..dahil basag ako at ayoko talaga dahil feeling kuh ay nalaos na lahat ng talent ko…hahahaha…

pero dahil inaabot na ni ma’am ung mic sakin..at dahil nadin ayoko xang mapahiya sa kin dahil nung nag pa picture kami nun sa room eh super bait nya talaga sakin..kxe ako ung kumuha ng bonggang group pic at nagrequest din akuh ng solo bago kuh pa sila kuhanan..at aun..nung naglalabasan na ung mag pangit na kinuhaan kuh ng pic…c ma’am pa mismo nagsabi ng magpapicture daw kami..aun..she’s so nice talaga..and i’d love her for that..ang saya nung picture session na yun.. God is so great!

back to the story…

at aun na nga..nasa kamay kuh na ung mic at kasalukuyan na akong inaatake ng anxiety attack..hahaha..wala akong maisip na kanta..naiisip ko ng kumanta ng Jpop..kea lng baka batuhin akuh ng mga sapatos dahil malamang na hindi nila ako maiintindihan at baka isipin pa ng iba na nagpapasikat lang ako..pero sa totoo lang wla talaga akong maisip..pinapabirit pa ako ng isang tropa kuh kea lng nahihiya naman akuh dahil bka sumabit akuh dahil wala pa talaga akuh sa kundisyon noon..hahaix..

nagmamadali na kea ang pumasok sa isip kuh ay ang kantang OUT OF REACH ni Gabrielle na sya ding palagi kong kinakanta pag wala akong maisip na ibang kakantahin…dahil feeling kuh ay isa syang safe song dahil sasaktan kuh ang sarili kuh pag sumabit pa akuh dun…

at kumanta na ako na may props pang spotlight sa pwesto…

“Knew the signs
Wasnt right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you,
And now I feel like the fool.

So confused, my hearts bruised,
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far,
I never had you heart,
Out of reach, couldnt see,
There’s a light out there for me..”

aun…at habang kuamakanta ay nakikipag usap akuh sa mata kay ROb at sabay na nakikipaglokohan na kung bakit un ang napili kong kanta..na sa kalagitnaan ay naisipan namin ng ibig sabihin at tuluyan ng naglokohan..habang ako naman ay  may kakaiba pang gestures at pagturo sa spotlight na nakasentro talaga sakin habang kinanta kuh ang last part ng mali kong lyrics na “There’s a light out there for me”…hahahaha..

Thank you…tapos na din sa wakas ang aking munting awitin…sabay tayo at abot ng mic ky ma’am na super bait..

at uber lakas na ng kantiyawan lalo nung lumabas si bebe John at sya ang nag abot ng price kuh..”nasa isip kuh tlga nun kiss nlng eh..”..sabay umarte nlng kmi na may kiss pero ang totoo ay nanghinayang akuh dahil hindi nya tinuloy..(takot yata kay ate Mae)..hahaha…HAIX…

alapaap un nung xa ung nag abot..grabeh…ung xa nalang mismo ung price ang pinaka nagpasaya sakin dun eh…hahaha…

nice one..i somehow love this day!!

hahahaix…

“kilig”

**wink..**wink…

-dA3

hahahaix…

=)

Eh ano naman??puso ko naman toh??…

What would you do if the only one who can make you stop crying is the one who made you cry??

how do you say goodbye to someone who was never yours??

why do you miss someone you were never with??

why do you show your love at someone if you’re not committed to??

why feel lonely? yet everybody is with you??

how long can you wait to hear the word “I Love You”.. when he/she’s waiting too??

how can you deny you’re in love, when it’s already felt and visible to both of you??

so then..

How long will you pretend??when it’s about to end??

__________________________________________________________________________________

I wasn’t suppose to fall for him..

I didn’t plan it either…

It just came to the point where in..

I just can’t consider him as one of my friends!

….anu daw??no Dae….no way….

_______________________________________________________________________________

If the heart works over mind..

Its not somethng you should be ashamed of..

Rather …go and tell the world….:

“my heart loves as much as my own mind can’t understand!”

….so??…inamin mo na nga??

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Wanna know the difference between “I love you” and “Love you”??

“I love you” means

“Ikaw lang ang mahal ko”..

and

“love you” means

“mahal kita”

See the difference?

You can say “Love you” to anyone…

but, say “I love you” to only one…

……so does that really mean….hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm….

_________________________________________________________________________________

an excerpt from mi phone..3p kuh lng ipost here..:

dated: 04-05-09….April 05, 2009 7:19pm……09209517556

“Dae, *** toh, bt d mo q pnapancn knna? Wat gnawa q? “

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

dated: 04-05-09….April 05, 2009 7:25pm……09209517556

Dae, wat b gnawa q? Wag kn magalt skn,. P**

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . .

dated: 04-05-09….April 05, 2009 7:58pm …. 09103924766

Dae

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

dated: 04-05-09….April 05, 2009 7:59pm …. 09103924766

Dae,? Sori n, anu b gnawa q? Bt d mo q pnapancn knna?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

dated: 04-05-09….April 05, 2009 8:54pm …. 09103924766

Dae?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

dated: 04-05-09….April 05, 2009 9:25pm …. 09103924766

Dae? Sori n, what i do?.. Sori n,

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

another excerpt from mi phone it’s kinda sweet kxe…..

;;;;after calling me up.. he texted.. (ginising xe akuh..adik toh!)

Tnx dae.. gudnyt..slip kn ult..swt dwmz..

dated: 03-21-2009  time: 10:50pm.. 09189302480

____________________________________________________________________________________

aun..i’d love to share..pwo next time nlng ah…

To my fellow Graduates..

‘ A month or two to go, we’ll leave the school and eventually, move into a broader one life!..

By June, we won’t be one of those kids anymore, who fall in several lines for enrollment..

No more terror professors, Quizzes and term papers, No more Sembreaks, No more hang-outs..

These and many more good things will be cherished and missed..

For what makes schooling memorable is not just the knowledge we gained nut the friendship we Built…

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

sa school nagsimulang lahat..

nabuo ang barkadahan at tatag ng samahan, matunog at malutong na halakhakan sa tabi ng kung saan..turuan sa exam at recitation, pero kanya kanyang dahilan pag nagkahulihan..

Kala nyo ba hanggang dyan na lang??

hello??..saksi rin kaya kami sa mga Ligawan nyo…mula pagsulat ng pangalan ng mahal sa besk ng upuan…

Holding hands while walking pag uwian, holding hands sa van at kung saan man..

Hanggang sa iba’t ibang tawagan; hon, bhe, mhine, baby q, mahal q, mhal q, bb, etc at dialog na “WALANG IWANAN!!”…

WAIT..di pa tapos..

haay…mawawala ba naman ang mga sessions sa dorm, rented pool at sa mga bahay pag may nasaktan??

……

I’ll definitely miss this so much guys…

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Buhay 4thyear:

Masaya..

Bonding..

Tambay..

Kwentuhan..

Kulitan..

Tawanan..

Magkakadevelopan..

kopyahan sa test/exam..

syempre..ang pinakahihintay..

ang pagmamartsa ng sabay sabay…

Akyat sa stage..

hawak ang diploma..

saya di ba??

Pero darating din sa point na malungkot..

iyakan..

yakapan..

sabay sabing…

ge ge mga tols/friendships/tropa/dabarkads….

paalam na sa inyo…

SALAMAT!!…

Sa lahat ng saya, lungkot, hirap, problema..

magkakahiwalay man tayo..lagi naman kayong nandito sa puso ko..kasama ng mga alaalang nakatatak na dito..

Congratz batch ‘08-’09!!!

mga parE…ITAAS NYO!!!